[Software @-] Language observatoire

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Latvian humour...

Why are Latvians the best in the world!?!

(This list is going to be expanded. If forwarding to friends, include the original address http://software-review-and-translate.blogspot.com/ )

... Because Latvians eat Polish apples, drink Estonian milk, shop in Lithuanian-owned stores and are very proud of their Latvian traditions.

... Because Latvians use the roads from the yesteryear, drive yesterday's cars, at the speed of tomorrow.

... Because we alone have the road sign "Caution: Pigs!".

... Because we call "zebra" the place were pedestrians are crossed out.

... Because in Latvia there's no place in more than three hours' driving distance, except from one end of Riga to the other.

... Because you are actually slowing down traffic by driving at the maximum permitted speed.

... Because driving on the opposite lane, you may be struck by another car from behind.

... Just because we have a toaster warranty period longer than for a new building.

... Because during the key Latvian holidays, alcohol consumption is measured in buckets.

... Because we have an East Latvian "moonshine" that is so good that people better die than reveal the place where they procured it.

... Because the treasury can still finance the biggest salaries, and skips the small ones.

... To tourists arriving in Riga by train, it seems that they are in a place called “Origo”. (huge store name)

And more ....

... Because in Latvia nobody swears. For that, there's the Russian language.

... Because from job seekers, it's expected to know a foreign language, rather than the official language.

... Because the Latvian people first think and then do... nothing.

... Because only with us, you can put together a cat from three meat-pies (sold at stalls in the street)!

... Because we have the know-how of making butter out of hemp.

... Because a prospective employer would first look at your profile at a local social networking site and only then read your CV.

... Because we live in the world's most independent place... as nothing depends on it anyway.

... Because our living standard is twice as bad than that of Estonians, but we laugh about them twice as loud.

... Because the central heating starts up only when half of Latvians are ill with a cold.

... Because we're going to have a concert hall like in New York, but the children's hospitals resemble Somalia.

... Because our national symbol is the hogweed plant.

So, to sum up. :)
These Latvian jokes do reflect certain self-stereotypes, but, as George Clooney's character in the Up in the Air film put it, “I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster”.

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